Good News In Iraq...Almost

This is kind of sad. The bad news coming out of Iraq has been so relentless ever since the elections that the closest the US can come to some good news is "almost" capturing the insurgent Zarqawi. I guess Bush has to take what he can. Here are some other possible headlines he can suggest to the MSM:

Bush Almost Guts Social Security
Tom DeLay Almost Neuters Ethics Committee While Claiming To Call For Investigation Of Himself
Cheney Almost Smiles

Any suggestions?