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Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Back from the American Airlines voyage of the damned

by · 11/29/2005 11:59:00 PM ET · Link 
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Man. Just had a 6 hour voyage from Chicago to DC. Apparently we had a little tornado in the area here, and that shut down the airports.

And can I just say, when did the cheapskate airlines start charging 2 bucks to check your bag curbside? Because the airlines would prefer if we all lined up inside to check our bags and make their crew work twice as hard and make the lines twice as long? Apparently charging us 5 bucks for a tostito wasn't enough for the airlines, now they need to start making us pay to make THEIR job easier. And, to add their cheapness, American Airlines puts a big ole sign up informing you that not only will it cost you 2 bucks, but the gratuity isn't included, thank you very much.

I've got one word for American Airlines and all the rest of you hideous American carriers: Bankruptcy.

The surest way to get service back to the quality it used to be is to get rid of a carrier or two and let the rest start making some real revenue again. We paid $15 billion or so after September 11 to bail these useless teet-suckers out, and what did our 15 billion get us? A lousy tostito and smaller seats. I always flew American because of the bigger leg room. Apparently that's a thing of the past too, at least on the flights I've been flying lately. It's as bad as flying United now (I have 28 inch legs and I stopped flying United years ago because of their absurdly cramped seats).

I'm not impressed.

I've said this before. Fly foreign carriers to go abroad and you not only get free liquor and a hell of a lot better service, AND actually get good food (Delta's pasta surprise, in business class no less, on the way to Europe a while back made high school cafeteria food taste good). And there's another thing - I worry whether flying US carriers to go abroad entails greater risks. It's just my own personal opinion, but in the great rankings of "Great Satans," we're the greatest to these nutjobs. So if I fly a US carrier abroad - or fly domestically on a carrier that just so happens to be named after the "Great Satan" - I'd like a little appreciation for supporting the home team.

Our airlines need to learn that we have a choice as consumers. And my choice is to finally let some of these hideous wretches go bankrupt. I'm sick and tired of being treated like I'm intruding on Bill and Ted's excellent adventure every time I fly a US carrier.


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